Does Valentine’s Day make you wish you had someone to love (and to love you)? Don’t despair—there are ways to dispel loneliness during the Valentine’s Day hype, and help get you out doing something you enjoy. When you are deeply involved in an activity with other people you have a common goal and interests that connect you. Frequent exposure to others increases their liking of you, so besides having an enjoyable time, you might find a new love by engaging in some of the following suggestions from Beverly B. Palmer, Ph.D., professor and clinical psychologist.
• Volunteer
Think about who you would get the most satisfaction from helping. Would it be children, the homeless, migrants, senior citizens? Then, search online for where you might be most needed. VolunteerMatch.org and CreateTheGood.org are two sites that list volunteer opportunities in your community. Not only would you be making a positive change, you would be meeting others with similar values.
• Foster or Adopt a Pet
You may find a pet to be a loving companion. A cat can give you comfort as it curls up on your lap, while a dog will get you out of your house on a daily basis where you will meet neighbors and other doggie lovers at the park. You then instantly have something in common with those around you and something to talk about. Petting a dog or cat releases the “love hormone”, oxytocin, in both the person’s and pet’s brains, according to scientists at Monash University. Oxytocin creates a feeling of being loved and insures a strong bond, so your pet can help you feel less lonely. Contact your local pet adoption group or borrow a friend’s pet before taking the plunge.
• Join a Special Interest Group
If you have a hobby you could join a group of people who share that interest. Every city has an abundance of special interest groups, professional association functions, alumni events, and civic organization meetings. Find group activities on websites such as meetup.com. These may involve hiking, cooking, developing a new skill, discussing a topic, or participating in a sport.
• Sign up for a Course or Fitness Center’s Program
If you have a regularly scheduled event where you are with other people, you already have a way not to be lonely during the upcoming Valentine’s Day. Seek out adult classes that interest you at your local university, or join a gym. Both men and women are attracted to the other’s sweat, reports a Swiss study, which explains why health clubs are such popular hunting grounds! Don’t forget to reach out and connect to others by asking for advice or noticing when someone needs help. Don’t wait for someone to find you—smile and start talking with someone who is engaged in the activity with you.
• Read a Good Book
Visit your library or bookstore. Selecting a book from browsing the shelves gives you an opportunity to interact with others before going home to read. Escape to another world through an engrossing fiction. Learn something new through a helpful nonfiction book, such as Love Demystified: Strategies for a Successful Love Life, which will give you even more suggestions on how to avoid the Valentine’s Day blues.
About
Beverly B. Palmer, Ph.D. is the author of Love Demystified: Strategies for a Successful Love Life, which uses the latest scientific research to show how people meet, fall in love, create love, fall out of love, and love again. As a professor of psychology and a clinical psychologist in private practice, her academic knowledge and clinical understanding uniquely qualify her to demystify love. She has publications and presentations on love, relationships, interpersonal skills, and sexuality. The American Psychological Association lists her as a scientific expert on interpersonal attraction and relationships for journalists to consult. She also has been happily married to her psychiatrist husband for 50 years, partially because she has lived the strategies that help build a lasting loving relationship. She would proudly share the link for this article when it is published with her followers.
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